Series: The Vow
Week 3: The Vow of Partnership
How many of you married someone opposite?
People often say when you’re dating: Opposites Attract, But when you’re married: Opposites Attack!
Opposites tend to attract, and then (later on) they often attack.
The problem is Satan wants to use the differences to divide. God wants to use them to strengthen, and that’s why today what I want to do is talk about the vow of partnership and let it speak to us in a way that I believe can really strengthen our marriages.
VOW #1: I PROMISE THAT GOD WILL MY ONE (FIRST PRIORITY) AND MY SPOUSE WILL BE MY TWO (SECOND PRIORITY).
VOW #2: I PROMISE I WILL ALWAYS PURSUE MY TWO.
Genesis 2:24 -“Become one” -united, completely joined as one.
Matthew 19:5-6
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT NOT A CONTRACT
A contract is based on mutual distrust.
In other words, since I don’t know you well enough to take you at your word, I’m going to make you sign on a piece of paper to say you will live up to your part of the deal. The Contract is to protect me from your wrongdoing. I’m only in as far as you’re in.
A covenant is based on mutual commitment.
We are both in 100% with every part of our being.
Covenant: cutting, a binding agreement, a blood covenant.
OT there would be shedding of blood. Cutting hands.
If you want normal, you can have normal. When I look around and I see normal relationships with hurt, and mistrust, and adultery, and divorce, and pain, I don’t want anything that has to do with normal. If you want something that other people don’t have, you got to do something other people won’t do.
Today, people do married things before they’re married. You are pretending to be married, and when it doesn’t work out, your practicing divorce. The first time many marriages start to struggle, what do people do? They fall back on what they’ve been practicing for so many years because we did married things before we were married. Practice marriage: Practice Divorce.
We are all in-For richer or poorer-Sickness or health-Until Death – 100% in. Mutual Commitment: Not 50-50‚—100%. Marriage is not dividing everything in half. It’s giving everything you’ve got. Do unto others as Christ did. He gave His life-that’s the context of marriage.
COVENANT PARTNERSHIP IS SUMMARIZED WITH GODLY LEADERSHIP AND MUTUAL SUBMISSION.
Ephesians 5:21 -Mutual Submission
Ephesians 5:22-24 -Godly Leadership
Christ submitted himself. He laid down his life for us, and He calls of us to live surrendered & submissive lives
Men- mutual submission, that heart of Christ is a servant leader, and then the Bible tells you to lay down your life for your wife
Men as leaders: Set the tone, directions, and values.
Wish your wife would honor & respect you? Give her something to honor/respect.
If we have two visions-We have di-vision
TRUTH IS: Your marriage will be as good as you both decide it will be.
There will be times you don’t feel like it. Don’t feel like being nice, feel like forgiving, feel like working hard.
How many other areas of life can you make that excuse?
Marriage isn’t measured by your feelings.
Marriage is measured by commitment.
Feelings follow commitment.
But I’m not happy. We fell out of love.
Getting divorced because you ran out of love is like selling a car because you ran out of gas. When I am in the right place with the help of God and when she is in the right place, we can be united as one flesh, and that is a marriage that honors God.
United-or-Untied: What’s the difference between united and untie? It’s all about where the “I” is. If the “I” is in the right place, we are united. If I am in the wrong place, we are untied.
Vow #3: I promise our marriage will be about we and not me.